Every year, I look forward to the holidays. It starts with Christmas and the New Year then followed by the festive Sinulog. The first quarter of each year is a highlight to most, well to me at least. I feel elated and a sudden surge in energy engulfs me much like getting a sugar rush – A feeling all too familiar because after the adrenaline high comes a profound indolence resulting in declined vigor and spirit. This is exactly how I feel after the Sinulog for I am much aware of what’s coming next… Valentine’s Day.
If memory serves me right, I’ve been single for a little over three years now. Not to say I haven’t gone on dates but none of them ended in commitments; An I-am-yours, you-are-mine type of arrangement. “Oh you think too much!” is a common remark from close friends. I’d agree with them but I pride myself in thinking way ahead-Where weighing the pros and cons and valuing reason over sentiment is as natural as breathing. This is very classic of Capricorns and I live and breathe it.
Being single isn’t the end of the world. It is fabulous and it affords me more time for myself and my friends. I can do whatever, go wherever without regard to another’s approval or lack thereof. I fancy solitude and the clarity it gives me. I helps me introspect about my life and my work. It keeps me grounded and sane despite the challenges of everyday living.
My friends often tell me I’m missing out on the better things in life. Whether that’s true is highly debatable but i’m here to share the other side of the spectrum. What is it like to be single?
Well first, you have the luxury to splurge on yourself. You can focus on your career and even start a hobby. A hobby after all is an investment. Case in point, If you fancy photography and brave to pursue it then you’d have to be able to afford it. It will set you back around thirty thousand for a decent camera and it doesn’t stop there. A close friend of mine, who recently took a liking to photography, shared he already spent more than 50 thousand pesos. By modern standards, that’s a relatively small price as accomplished photographers spend hundreds of thousands on this hobby. A hefty amount if you ask me but because he is single, he’s able to afford this exorbitant hobby.
Next, being single means you’ll have more time for you family and people who matter to you. Not that you can’t if your’e in a committed relationship but it wouldn’t be the same when your single. Time is a luxury and I (single) have loads if it. I have a regular job and I make it a point to maximize whatever free time I can get. Dates don’t have be romantic as I delightfully realized. I can have dinner with friends and talk about the good old days and the the feeling of nostalgia is intoxicating.
While I understand being in a relationship makes one feel inspired and euphoric, one cannot deny that it’s not always clear blue skies. After all, one of the biggest causes of depression is love. Ironic as it may be, love can bring about the highest of ecstasies but it can also cause one misery and desolation. I am someone who dwells on calculated risks and risking my sanity and peace for something as uncertain as love is something I do not intend on doing. I am not bitter. I am merely cynical.
I must admit, I wasn’t always like this. I started dating at a very early age. With it came terrible heartaches and dissapointments. I, too, had my share of despair and I choose not to take any more chances until conditions improve. I feel I have grown very cerebral and critical.
I know a lot of my friends would disagree but it’s awesome to be single. To all you lovers, godspeed. To all the singles out there, put your hands up and be proud. It’s not easy being alone in a world where people expect you to be otherwise.